I don't know who I am
by Looneylune
Summary: The humanstuck version of Captured. Solomon Captor is a patient in a rundown mental hospital that shouldn't be open. But it is. Every night he has dreams of someone like him, but somewhere else. People like the people that he knows, but different. Now he struggles to understand who he is. Some Arasol and maybe some Karezi in there somewhere.
1. Chapter 1

AN: My first humanstuck. Okay, so the situation here is captured is the dream of the humanstuck Sollux. He has all these weird dreams of him and his friends, as trolls. But he really is crazy. Hope you enjoy, I doubt this will spawn into a fullfledged fic. Just a little thing for fun./AN

CHAPTER 1

"MY NAME IS SOLLUX CAPTOR."

That was the last thing that ran through Solomon's mind before he woke up in a cold sweat. He lay there, on the cold hard bed.

"Who am I... I..." He spoke.

His room was small and dark. There was one window, with bars. This room was more like a prison then the room of a mental ward. But it was. It was a rundown mental hospital in the middle of the country. It should have been shut down years ago, but no one knew what do to with the patients.  
They were the worst of the worst, and Sol was no exception. He heard things. Terrible things in his head. He was never in the same mood twice, it alway was changing all the time. He couldn't see colors Only red and blue stood out to him. He was often violent, and threatened to hurt himself.

And worst of all, he didn't know who he was.

-LATER-

"So, Solomon, can you tell me why you're here?" The doctor asked him. This was his daily checkup. The doctor has been trying to get him to tell him, to his face, what his condition was. The doctor thought that all patients should accept their illness before they can start to improve.

"I I don't know who I I am..." Sol also stuttered his 'I''s. The reason for this is unknown.  
"You are Solomon Captor. You are 13 years old and you are in a mental asylum." The doctor had been putting up with this act for years now. Years. Solomon just couldn't tell him what his problem was, because he didn't know.

Solomon jumped up, angered. "I It'th not my fault i if I don't know who I I am! And who are you to tell me that I I'm Tholomon?" He was fuming now. "I I am Thollux Captor. That'th what they told me. That i is my problem." Solomon stormed out. He knew the doctor was pushing the button under his desk now. The button that called the men in the white coats who would take him away, and lock him in another dark room. But he didn't want that dark room.

He wanted to be with Aria.

Sol ran through the empty hallways, occasionally passing some fellow patients or hiding from the men in white coats. His thin, baggy hospital rags barely clung to his even thinner body as he ran. The hospital rags in question were a shirt, much to big for Sol, with the Number 22 written on the Top left corner (Seeing how he was the 22nd patient), and a pair of equally baggy pants that had been ripped so that he no longer tripped over them with every step.

He ran until he found Aria, who was sitting in the corner of the common room. She lied on her stomach, feet dangling in the air, sitting up on her elbows. She was conversing with someone.

"Ari ia." Solomon stuttered.

"Oh, Sol! Glad you could join us!" She sounded cheery for someone who talked to the dead. "This is the ghost of a patient who grew up here!" She gestured to the air next to her, sitting up.

"I I'm thorry, Aa. I can't thee the ghotht." He sat down next to the girl. "They're looki ing for me agai in..."

"Did you yell at the doctor again?"

"Yeth..."  
"It's okay if you don't know who you are." Aria put her hand on Sols lap, to comfort him. Just then, the men in the white coats entered.

"Solomon." He shot up, ready to bolt at any moment. "Solomon, come with us."

"N-No!" He spat. Aria got up to, and asked her ghost friend for advice.

"Sol," She whispered in his ear. "The ghost says they have you surrounded. If you run they'll just put you in the jacket. You don't want that."

Sol understood what she said. He hung his head, and gave up to the men in the white coats. Under his breat he mumbled "I I don't know who I I am..."

Later, while locked in a different dark, small room with barred windows, he would scratch and bite himself. He did not know who he was. And this is how he would find out.

AN: Yes, I am aware that this is not the way a real menal hospital functions. Thats the point, this shouldn't be a real mental hospital. But it is. /AN


	2. Chapter 2

AN: anyone actually like this? i know it's kinda hard to tell with only one chapter :I if you want to support my writing, or you think you like it, just keep on reading! I apreciate this. now's a chapter about everyones favorite grumpy troll! /AN

CHAPTER 2

Kyle Vantas was angry. truly, he was always angry, that's the whole reason he resided in a mental hospital. But now, he was angrier than usual.

-1 HOUR AGO-

"So, Kyle, how are you?" The doctor asked.

"How am I doing? How am I fucking doing?! I am locked up in a shit house of a mental ward, I'm surrounded by loonatics when I am perfectly sane, Everyone here drives me off the wall batshit, and the food here fucking sucks! Is this place even certified to treat mentally ill people!? I-" The doctor cut Kyle off, fearing that he would go on for another hour or two.

"Kyle, your anger is not healthy."

Kyle opened his mouth, preparing for another rant. He was silence by the doctor.

"The things you do out of anger are not healthy either." Kyle started to pout a bit.

"We are going to try and find healthy ways for you to exert your anger. So in the mean time, don't do anything you'll regret later."

As Kyle walked out, he mumbled to himself "don't tell me what do to."

The doctor, after Kyle walked out, mumbled to himself " Shouldn't have told me that. Now he's going to do it." the doctor ran his fingers through his hair, and picked up Kyle's file.

"Patient 69... What are we going to do with you..."

-LATER-

Kyle sat in his room, fumingly angry. He hated how small it was, he hated how dark it was, he hated how the view from his barred off window was terrible, he hated everything. He was ready to just bite a giant chunk out of his arms, sit there and let himself bleed out.

But he didn't.

He thought of those that he hated less. The girl who talked to ghosts, and the boy who didn't know who he is.

And Tasari.

The blind girl.

She was what kept Kyle going. Let's face it, the patients here drop like flies. At least once a month someone died either because of going insane, suicide or just because of the bad living all that, Kyle was constantly trying to escape or kill himself, to simply avoid the place. But every time he tried to end it, he thought of her.

And he stopped.

Kyle pounded his fists to the floor.

"Damnit! Why do I care about her so much?!" he started punching the floor in anger, full force. His fists started to hurt badly, but he didn't stop. He squeezed his fists tighter and tighter. His nails dug into the skin of his hands.

Then, he stopped and unclenched his fists. Red started to trickled from his hands.

Kyle curled up in the corner of his small, dark and windowless room. There, he wanted to sleep. So he cried, and cried until he slept.

AN: thanks for reading another chapter. And yes, I am going to be using the device of repetition (EXAMPLEP: always saying the men in the white coats, and always saying the small, dark and windowless room.) hope it doesn't annoy anyone, because I like it. :P also, my left shift key is being sticky, so if I have some letters that aren't capitalized or something, thats the reason. /AN


	3. Chapter 3

AN: This chapter took a while to write. Either I was just lazy or short on ideas. anyway, make way for the blind bandit, Toph! Ha. Get it? Toph's wrestling name is the blind bandit. And I watched avatar. I'm so smart you guys. Okay never mind, it's Terezi's chapter.

CHAPTER 3

Tasari Pyrope got up from her bed, in the cold, dark, windowless room. The room that was gray and tasteless to her. She did lick the walls on a daily basis, trying to keep up with anything that might of changed.

Not that anything ever changed. This hospital was, and always would be, boring.

As Tasari's bare feet touched the cold floor. She felt it again. The feeling she always felt. The feelings in her feet, the smells and the tastes.

This was how she saw. Her vision came from her other senses.

Tasari was blind, you see. You see, but she doesn't. Not with her eyes, anyway.

She also did not think she belonged in the hospital. She really could smell and taste colors. She wasn't crazy.

In all honesty, she was a bit crazy. But not enough to have been in a mental asylum this long.

Tasari could be considered sociopathic at times, and showed some symptoms of pica disorder, as well as an unhealthy obsession with the color red, and her own blood. But despite all of that, she was a good girl. A good, slightly psychopathic at times, girl.

-LATER-

"So, Tasari." The doctor put down his files, to look straight at the girl. He wasn't impressed. There were scratches and cuts all over her arms. "I though we told you to stop it with the creepy blood stuff."

"Aww, but it tastes so good, doctor!" Terezi cackled.

The doctor cringed. "Not only is it bad for you to ingest your own blood, it's not healthy to hurt yourself like this."

"I only sractch myself!" she said.

"You only scratch yourself now!" The doctor retorted. "If you grow up in an environment thinking that it's okay to hurt yourself, it will escalate. Next thing you know you've cut off your hand."

Tasari just scoffed. "Yeah, sure. Live in your little fantasy doctor world, thinking that you know everything about everything. But one day, you'll wake up and realize that you're wrong, and that what you're doing is wrong." She started to grin fiercely.

"Tasaria," The doctor said. He only used a patient's full name when he was not please with them. This was the case, with Tasari.

"Do no use my full name, you know I hate it, and you promised not to use it. Also, that is the only thing you have on me. If the only way that you can do any kind of psychological damage to me is by using my full name, this won't last long."  
"Tasaria, I'm going to stop you right there." The doctor managed to say in between one of Tasari's breaths. "I'll give you 5 seconds to shut up and stay that way, or I will push the button under my desk, the men will, come, and you will be locked away." Tasari always managed to bring out the worst of the doctor. So, she stayed quiet. Messing with the doctor wasn't worth getting locked away. But since she had gotten this far, she'd go for it.

"You think what you're doing is noble. You think you're saving lives. No, you just help end them. More patients die in this hospital than patients that are successfully treated. We are sheep being led to the slaughter, and you just sit there and watch us. Watch us and think that everything you do helps. But it never does. You are just observe us and write down what we do, thinking that one day we'll get better. But even if we do exactly what you say nothing changes. We have to do it all ourselfs if we want out of here."

The doctor pushed the button under his desk. The button would alert the men in the white coats and they would come and take Tasari away.

"I warned you, Tasaria." The men entered. " You know the drill." The men in the white coats both grabbed her under the arms and jerked her up. She didn't resist. She just fell limp and let them carry h completely. She gave another shark-like grin.

"Don't act like I'm wrong, doctor." She laughed as the men carried her away. The men in the white coats dragged her to a little room. A little, dark room, with one window. The window had bars on it, and was there so the doctors could observe her. She would make sure to put on a show for them.

She hid behind the bed in the room and begun scratching at her scabs and scars. Before she knew it, spots of red blood were appearing. She kept her nails long and pointy just for this reason. The smell of the red blood drove her crazy. She stared to lick her arms, ingesting the her own own blood.

The men in the white coats noticed that she wasn't visible through the window. They entered, only to find her sitting there scratching at her arm. They took her, stopped her, Held her down while one of them put her in the jacket. The jacket that kept you from moving, kept you from doing anything they didn't want you to do. The jacket for the crazy people. The jacket for the suicidal. The jacket that Tasaria was now trapped in. She would be trappd thered for at least 24 hours to make sure she had calmed down. Then, the doctor would come in, and bribe her with food. She could go eat if she didn't do it again. The trick was to always say that you'll never do it again, just so you could get food. Because you would do it again. You always would.

The room was as boring as ever. No sights and no smells or tastes, other than the icky, cold gray of the concrete walls. It would be a boring 24 hours, maybe more. Probably longer, knowing the doctor.

Tasari sat there for hours and hours, then more hours, followed my more and more hour.

She lied on the bed, not moving,put not sleeping ether. Just sitting there, thinking. Tasari wasn't thinking about her actions, however, or how to fix all hats happening. She was trying to find a way out. Not exactly of this room exactly, out of the hospital. She hatched this idea a long time ago, and has been thinking about it whenever she got locked up like this. She wanted to bust out with every single patient.

After what seemed like days, the Doctor entered.

"Hello Tasaria." The two were not on the best.

"Hello puppet of a death institution." Tasaria said with a slight cackle. The doctor just rolled his eyes.

"I am only asking you this because it is the policy of the hospital. If I had a choice I wouldn't even ask. If we let you out, will you even consider stopping what you are doing?"

"Oh, most definitely, sir doctor man! You have opened my eyes!"

Once again, the doctor rolled his eyes again.

He signaled for some men in white coats to come in and remove Tasari from her bindings. She stood up and started to stretch. 24 hours in a straight jacket really did a number on your joints.

"Breakfast is being served in the dining hall." The doctor spoke.

Tasari walked off, to get her breakfast. She also wanted to speak to her friends of her plans.

AN: I feel like I'm constantly ripping on Tasaria/Terezi for beig blind. I'm sorry for that. I think the part of my writing that is always being more humor came out in this chapter (probably because I was watching the fresh prince of bel air while watching it. I want this story to be more serious than captured, since it's really showing the darker part of the issues I'm kinda using. Since this story is a lot darker in general than captured (Where I always make jokes and refferences) I'm going to try and make this less funny. DON'T LAUGH YOU GUYS. /AN


	4. Chapter 4

AN: Something you probably didn't know, but will become more evident in this chapter, is that all the intro chapters are happening at roughly the same time. First, They all wake up at about the same time, then Karkat went for his appointment , Then Sollux (and all that other stuff happened and finally Terezi. Now, Aradia's chapter fits in there somehow. See if you can figure out when and where. Also, short chapter sorry/AN

CHAPTER 4

_"Hello Aria."_

"Hello ghost. Who are you?" Aria Megido was talking to a ghost again.

_"I am the ghost of a past patient. I died in this hospital." _ No one will ever understand if Aria could really talk to ghosts, or if ghosts really existed. But every ghost she talked to was that of a real person, someone who lived in the past.

"Oh no, that's terrible! Do you mind me asking how you died?"

_"Neglect. I was locked away in a small, dark room and they forgot about me. They left me there until I had withered away." The ghost started to appear to Aria, she could see it and hear it._

"I knew this hospital was a bad place. They tell me ghosts like you aren't real!"

_"Few can hear us, Aria. You are truly special. And you even listen to us. It has been decades since I've had a pleasant conversation with an individual like yourself."_

"Well, the patients here are interesting. If you could talk to them, I think you'd enjoy it. Even though I don't like al of them and I find some of them irritating they aren't all bad people." Aria tried to explain the other patients. Although they all had their issues and their personality quirks, they were a good bunch of crazy kids.

_"I wish I could speak to more people here. My spirit cannot leave the hospital, and I haven't spoken to anyone in a while."_

"I wish you could speak to my friends. They are very interesting."

_"I wish everyon_e_ could see me. Then the existence of ghosts wouldn't be doubted, and you would not be considered crazy."_

"Can I ask you a question?" Aradia asked.

_"Yes, go ahead."_

At that moment, Solomon ran in.

"Ari ia." Solomon stuttered.

"Oh, Sol! Glad you could join us!" She sounded cheerie for someone who talked to the dead. "This is the ghost of a patient who grew up here!" She gestured to the air next to her, sitting up.

"I I'm thorry, Aa. I can't thee the ghotht." He sat down next to the girl. "They're looki ing for me agai in..."

"Did you yell at the doctor again?"

"Yeth..."  
"It's okay if you don't know who you are." Aria put her hand on Sols lap, to comfort him. Just then, the men in the white coats entered.

"Solomon." He shot up, ready to bolt at any moment. "Solomon, come with us."

"N-No!" He spat. Aria got up to, and asked her ghost friend for advice. She whispered in it's ear "What should he do? Should he run or not?"

_"I cannot tell the future. But it would not be wise to run. They have surrounded the area, and they will just lock him up."_

"Sol," She whispered in his ear. "The ghost says they have you surrounded. If you run they'll just put you in the jacket. You don't want that."

Solomon understood what she said. He hung his head, and gave up to the men in the white coats. Under his breath he mumbled "I I don't know who I I am..."

As they left, Aria sat back down.

"Will he be okay?"

_"I cannot tell you. From my experience, I believe yes. But this institution is unpredictable. Many things that should have been fine have been nothing of the sort. I am an example."_

"May I ask how you died?"

_"I would rather not revisit that memory."_

"Alright."

A woman walked in. She was wearing a white coat, but Aria didn't recognize her.

"Aria, sweetie," the woman began "who are you talking to?"

"A ghost."

"Aria, there is no such thing as ghosts."

"But I can see them and hear them. They are real."  
"Aria, come with me."

They don't want you to live in your own fantasy world here. They want you to be the image they have for you. No ghosts, no self harm, and no not knowing who you are. They house some of the broken souls and shattered minds of the world and they expect the impossible from them.

AN: She went for her appointment before Karkat. I didn't want to feature her appointment because too much repetition you guys. I'm sorry for being terrible. I'll write not terrible next time." /AN


	5. Chapter 5

AN: wow, I haven't written anything in a while. Oopsy daisies. I have a plan for this, and I'm going to make it shorter. But you'll see, or something. /AN

It was breakfast, the next day. The day after everyone had their appointments. Tasaria had just been released from her confinement, and she had done a lot of thinking. She didn't like it where she was, and she had a plan. A crazy plan, but a plan none the less.

She walked up to her friends, Aria, Kyle and Solomon. They sat there, food on the table, picking at it with disinterest.

"Hello all" Tasaria cackled. The group acknowledged her in their own way

" I I haven't theen you thi inthe yesthterday, Tathari." Sol muttered.

"Yes, we wondered where you were." Aria added.

"The _LOVING _doctor locked me up for no reason!" Tasaria huffed.

"For 24 hours?" Kyle asked, not surprised.

"Yeah! But I got some thinking done." Terezi whispered.

Everyone leaned in, ignoring their food completely.

"About what?" Solomon asked

"Getting out." She grinned. Her grin was shark like, her teeth were sharper than average.

Everyone looked at her, astonished. No one who tried to get out would ever make it. Some would die trying. The windows were barred, the fence was high with barbed wire and there were many vicious dogs, held by even more vicious men.

"Tasari, you're fucking crazy!" Kyle whispered angrily.

"No! I found a way, a fool proof plan! Something they would excpet, but at the same time they wouldn't"

"What?" Aria asked.

All leaned in further, as Tasaria whispered her plan to them. Some Whitecoats came up, wondering what they were up to. She quickly changed the subject, and they all returned to their meals. When the Whitecoats left, they returned to the plans.

"Tasaria, that won't work with the four of us!" Kyle growled.

"I don't want to do it with only the four of us!"

"What then?" Sol searched his mind for any answer, coming up with only one solution. "Do you mean..."

"I want to get EVERYONE out!" Tasaria whispered excitedly

Everyone stared at Tasaria. Was she insane? How would they get the entire hospital (all 12 patients) out? She was clearly out of her mind.

"Tasari, you're insane! That idea will nev-"  
"It will work." Aria chipped in now. "Tasari has thought this through, I can tell. Getting everyone on board will be easy enough, and we can definately find a way. This idea can work."

"Thank you, Aria, for believing in me. Unlike some grouches." She stuck her tongue out at Kyle, who snarled back at her.

The group talked on through breakfast, while picking idly at their food. After lunch, they met in their special spot. Behind the couch in the rec room. Behind there, no camera could see them. They were completely safe.

"Tho, Tathari i, you are completely thure that thethe ventth are where you thay they are?"  
"Absolutely, I've seen them before!"

Tasari's plan was rather simple, in fact. Tasari has found that the guards who watch the security tapes take a break from 1 AM to 1:05 AM. The hallways do not have cameras, but they have guards (who travel with certain patterns). They would sneak from their rooms, to the kitchen. The kitchen has no camera, and there is an air vent. An air vent big enough for the average teenager. That air vent would lead them to a central hub of vents, some of which lead outside. When outside, they would hide in the laundry bin, because at exactly 3 AM each morning, the laundry is taken outside of the gates to be cleaned. That would be their ticket to freedom.

AN: Aaaaaah weird plan. But let's see what happens. /AN


End file.
